Monday, 1 December 2014
I have looked forward to this golden year, I associate turning 50 as the year to start reaping the glory of your life's efforts of the past 49 years. I see it as a time when you will be wiser and in control. When I'm 50, I used to say, I'm going to slow down and enjoy life more. Now I have to enjoy whatever's left of it.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age, except when you're me. I had to fight so hard just to make it to 50 and whoa I just made it. When I was given the bleak prognosis I thought I will never see my 50th birthday. Actually the deadline they gave me was 48.
December 2, 2014 is my 50th Birthday and I feel a deep sense of gratitude. I already got a two year bonus, and counting. I had hoped for a better scenario but I'm not going to let this cancer dampen my hopes of having more birthdays to come. I fought so hard to get here, I will keep going to stay here.
I dreamt Big. It's still all in my mind, on hold, until my cells decide I can proceed again. They say having cancer stops all your wishes, all your dreams, and ambitions. Having cancer dictates your destiny. You can only plan days, not weeks, not years. Maybe it does dictate your destiny up to a certain point. But why stop, what's the harm in dreaming? If anything it can motivate you to fight even more when you want to get there so badly, and if you don't, hey you gave it a fair chance. It's free and a good workout for your brain. One can only dream, as they say. Isn't it good to keep hopeful. I think dreaming and wishing keeps your communication lines to life open "hello universe, I have yet to do the following........, my bucket list is long and deep". You're not masking reality, you still face your challenge everyday, but you're not putting a lid on life either. You never know maybe the constant asking will open up a whole new universe for you.
As I look back to the past 50 years, I'm thankful for the wisdom ripe age does impart. I have reached my golden year broken physically but stronger in spirit. I wish I can get more time to use that hard earned wisdom though.
My birthday present? I made 50 bags of warm weather accessories that I will hand out to 50 homeless people in London. I didn't go through shelters and organizations because I want to reach people who, for some reason, refuse to seek help. I see them every time I go out, even in posh Chelsea. A lot of them have dogs too, we've got one and my heart melts when I see them. Back in Vancouver, a group of homeless youngsters hang out outside of a Mcdonald's near the supermarket I go to. When I'm not rushing I buy them happy meals, or coffee, depending on my budget, and how many they are :), they have dogs as well. So, I'm packing dog food too. My way of thanking the universe for my continued strength (and existence). My way of letting 50 people know that someone cares. On my birthday, I want 50 people, complete strangers to feel touched and loved. I'm posting this a day ahead, because as you know now, I will be out distributing these goodies. I would have made more but I don't think my crappy lungs can handle too much walking.
Here's some Birthday quotes.......
Few Women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are cheese. - Billie Burke
Nice to be here? At my age, it's nice to be everywhere. - George Burns
I'll keep swivelling my hips until they need replacing. - Tom Jones
You can't turn back the clock but you can wind it up again!
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster too - Lionel Kauffman
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
Please don't touch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them - Anna Magnami
Nature gives you the face you have at 20, but it's up to you to merit the face you have at 50 - Coco Chanel